How do you get past the "leaving the kids at home" guilt?

[Phoenixrising]

I personally have no problems leaving the family behind on a solo trip trip. I have done this twice so far, and am planning another solo trip to DL in Nov/17. The way I view it is that the kids have been to Disney many times, and I thoroughly enjoy my alone time when I'm there. The only thing that's somewhat mandatory is that I bring the kids back a couple of small souvies, and call every couple of days (especially on my arrival day). My solo trips give me time to detox from the stress from family life. Add into this my DS12 and I have very strong personalities and are constantly clashing even though we love each other, and that's one of the main reasons I go. To get away from the stress of family life and I come back de-stressed, relaxed and more than ready to take on our life's family challenges.

 

[galaxygirl76]

We will be going to WDW in 9 days to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Our daughter(3) is not coming and will be staying with her aunt, her cousins, and with her grandma(whom she adores, I'm pretty sure meemaw is her favorite person in the world). I have been feeling guilty about it since we booked. She came with us last November, so it's not like she's never been and we are DVC members so we know we'll be back with her in a few years.

I know we will get so much more done and can enjoy the views so much more without having to constantly paying attention to her, we can ride all the rides together, and dining will be much less stressful as well. We have never been away from her since she was born except for a night here and there, so that also makes it harder. But I know she will have fun at her auntie's and meemaw's and that we need adults only trips every now and then as well.

 

[Blurrysmom]

We're going without kids for a weekend in November and focusing on the F&W festival. But contrary to popular advice here, we plan to tell our 7-year-old that we are going to Florida. We'll bring a souvenir from Downtown Disney (he always wants Legos anyway). I would not generally advise lying, but he is extremely sensitive. We will tell him that we are going to have a grown-up trip, but I think he's really be hurt if we left him out of Disney. We'll see how things go closer to the departure date.

 

[SoonipiLady]

GUILT???

 

[afinnteach]

We told them, emphasized the Food and Wine and they were fine. Gotta love my kiddos! (Helps to have that cruise in the works too!!

 

[gluestickgirl]

I'm glad they took it well!! We did the same - we're heading down alone next month, and were dreading telling our three where we were going. There was a minor "Awwwwwwwwwww" moment, but we told them we were going to do Food and Wine, fancy restaurants they'd hate, and all the shows they complain about having to sit through.

 

[aksunshine]

I am subbing to read through these later. DH and I are planning a couples/ Anniversary trip end of Oct. 3 nts, kids 3, 5, 13.. We will only have 2 good days. Flight arrives LATE one night Leaves EARLY the day we head home. Anyway, I am able to get a really good deal on flights and a DTD hotel. I feel a tad guilty... I always said I'd never go to WDW w/o them. We haven't been in 2 years, but before that, every year since 06, we used to go every year to remember our Levi (our second child who passed away in 07. after being in WDW for 10 days, we came home and were in a car accident). I am planning a family trip for Fall 17. Youngest will be old enough to remember better, since we don't go every year now. I have always dreamed of walking through F&W with DH and of riding Soarin and other rides together (thank goodness for Parent swap, but it would be nice to be with my DH!). The boys are really going to have a hard time with this...I feel we deserve this, though. We have never had a trip w/o kids and we didn't have a honeymoon. I homeschool, I have my kids pretty much 24/7. And DH typically works 64-72 hrs/ wk. And we are always quite depressed this time of year. I will be good for us in many ways.He hates spending the $ but knows we should! lol!!!

 

[elaine amj]

I want to do a WDW couples' trip and love that so many of you have. But, I haven't worked past the guilt yet. We have gone on several couples' trips now, but mostly to places the kids are not as interested in visiting. Although my DD grumbled a bit when i went horseback riding recently and she wasn't invited on that trip LOL!

One day I will get past the guilt and go....

 

[JoeyEmmaMomma]

DH and I will make it there twice this year without the kids for long weekends. We do not tell them we are going to Disney though. It would break their sweet hearts!
We do have APs this year, and the kids have gone plenty of times, so no guilt on that side of things!

 

[5kidsmommy]

My kids are all teens. I feel no guilt leaving them behind. They get that mom and dad need time away.

 

[coletteh]

We told them, emphasized the Food and Wine and they were fine. Gotta love my kiddos! (Helps to have that cruise in the works too!!

This is exactly how I approached it too! I'm taking a trip in November with JUST my SIL and it never occurred to me to feel guilty because my hubby was so supportive and awesome about it. Then I talked to my mom on the phone.

When I told them, my DS just asked if I was going to HP, and when I said no he replied "Oh, I don't care then." My DS and DD are 9. As it gets closer they are a little more "jealous" but mostly excited for me to bring back light sabers. .

I have finally decided to NOT feel guilty. I will be celebrating my 4th Cancerversary by taking this trip (planned several times over the years and always getting cancelled, for various reasons) and we will have fun! And I just choose to not discuss this trip with my mom anymore at all--keeps us both happy.

 

[GawrshImGoofy]

You walk down main street and you realize you're able to take in everything like never before, because you aren't having to look after kids that might go missing in the crowd. I know a lot of moms that feel tis guilt but believe me once you get there and start having fun the guilt is short lived. You will have moments when it crops back up again but they will be fleeting.

 

[littleblackegg]

There are plenty of things they will want to do without you, so it's one of those "teachable moments" where we talk about family time and mommy and daddy time. Children can handle small disappointments so much better than they are given credit for. Mommy and daddy time this trip, whole family time next trip.

 

[glorib]

I am struggling with this too. Well, I have two extremes: wavering between extreme guilt over leaving my two (12 & 10) and pure elation at the thought of an adult-only trip with my husband.

We have a trip booked for May for the husband's 40th birthday. We knew we wanted to do a trip, but when we started looking at places to visit, we kept thinking "the kids would like to see/do that too" and planning also became kind of hectic. So, DH suggested Disney because the kids have been and while they will probably still feel like they're "missing out" maybe not as much as if we went somewhere else that they'd never been to.
That's our justification, anyway! Still have those moments of guilt, though!

 

[DisMommyTX]

In Sept DH and I went to WDW for the first time without kids. They are 7 and 10, and we told them the truth all along. Our younger DS has special needs, so we explained it as we were getting plans ready for our next family trip together (kind of true as we were visiting a new resort and restaurants, and we were still deciding whether to stay on or off site next trip). We told our older DD that we were doing lots of grown up stuff, then asked what she wanted as a souvenir. She was fine with that as long as we didn't go see Ariel without her

I want my children to always tell me the truth, so I owe them the same courtesy. We would never hide something like that from them. I don't see any reason or benefit that could come from being deceptive.

As for the original question. We did feel guilty occasionally when we were doing something that we know the kids would have loved. However, this was offset by the many times we commented that they would disliked whatever we were doing (waiting in lines, most of F&W, long peaceful meals, etc.) I recommend that you plan lots of activities that the kids wouldn't want to do!

 

[Disneyaddictz]

I'm about to go on our third Disney kid free trip with my husband. We tell them however we don't talk about it after that, don't make plans in front of them or build up that inticipation that is usually present when preparing for a family trip. It's so important to take time like this with my hubby and just so happens we love Disney too and we always see so much we wanna do that we can't with kiddos. We go on so many family trips that they don't make a huge deal out of it

 

[disfanforlife]

I am so excited to be going in 13 days for our first ever vacation with out our kids!! Granted our kids are older, so I don't worry leaving them. Our girls are away at college and our son will be staying with my parents. He could stay alone, but I rather he didn't for a whole week. Also, we are going again with the kids in January so there is no guilt. I can't wait to spend a week alone with my DH doing everything we want to do at WDW.