Spring cleaning - things to let go of:
1. Fear- I have been working on this my
entire adult life and I think I am in a good place, finally.
2. Chasing perfection- This is one thing I have never struggled with…I do my best and hope it’s good enough. I am open to feedback and suggestions on how I can improve!
3. Need to please-I do have a need to please but I don’t know that it’s negative-I want people to know they can depend on me and trust me and I won’t betray them.
4. Toxic relationships-absolutely none these are over for me. I do have some limited contact with previous toxic relationships but I know what I can and can’t do and I stick to those rules I have made for myself.
5. Comparison-I used to be terrible with this-a trait picked up in childhood, but I have stopped this completely.
6. Past mistakes-I ask for forgiveness from the person I did wrong to, admit my mistake and say it will never happen again and I stick to that promise. I try and be trustworthy and do the right thing as much as I can, so that a mistake won’t be viewed as who I really am, if that makes sense.
7. Self doubt-I do doubt myself a lot. Wondering if I am doing the right thing/saying the right thing/making the right choice
8. Things you have no control over- Lots of therapy for me on this topic, but I am in a better place with it for sure. My mother has a potentially deadly health condition that she refuses to get treatment for. She was diagnosed 3 years ago and has seen multiple specialists and no matter what they urge her to do she refuses. At first I was absolutely manic over this, didn’t sleep obsessed over it. But I had to work through the reality that this is her life and her choice. If she chooses to go untreated and let this take over, instead of getting treatment and potentially extending her life for 20+ years who am I to worry if she’s not worried? It’s her path and she needs to walk it.
Things to let go of:
1. Fear - Overall, I'm not a super fearful person, but I'm also not a real adventurous person either, so I guess sometimes I don't put myself in situations that I am fearful in.
2. Chasing perfection - I think I'm an internal perfectionist - I don't talk about it at all or put outside pressure on myself, but I tend to be an all or nothing person which isn't always a good thing.
3. Need to please - I'm definitely a people pleaser. Something I for sure need to work on.
4. Toxic relationships - really my only toxic relationship is with some of my inlaws, but I'm not willing to cut them out of our lives, but I feel that DH and I are good at keeping them at arms length.
5. Comparison - I try not to do this, but it's sometimes hard. I think it makes me tend to stay in the background because I don't want others to compare me to anyone.
6. Past mistakes - this one is a hard one. I try not to bring up past mistakes, but it's hard to put them out of your mind when a similar situation comes up.
7. Self doubt - I'm big on that in many aspects of my life except my parenting. I think I did a great job raising my family and that's highest on my list of accomplishments. Other areas, I doubt my decisions often and feel like I don't know everything I should know.
8. Things I have no control over - On the outside, I'm very good at this, but struggle internally with it. DH is terrible about this one, so externally I try to balance him out, even though internally, I stress about it.
Great list to get me thinking of what I need to focus on letting go of!
