Introduction - Part One
Sounds simple enough doesn't it?
Then why can't I do it.
Several things happened to me this year past that were, as Oprah calls it,
"aha moments".
The first was at the end of February, when I was leaving Disney World.
It was a disappointing trip because I was supposed to do the 5k at the Princess Event.
It was doomed before it began.
Most of you know that I started a journal a few years back. Can't even find it now.
Seventy times seven or something like that - some kind of numerology thing (well not really).
Seemed relevant at the time.
You see I have been dreaming of doing a half marathon at Disney since 2004 - when I weighed about 360 pounds and still have such a dream - as strong as it ever was.
I have been given a truck load of encouragement, have a husband who at first supported my attempt to "race" very strongly, even walked me over a few finish lines, but now, must be as discouraged with me.
He has provided all he can, beautiful, hand made series of t shirts years ago, in various sizes with the slogan "Here a little, there a little...".
Unlimited food budget, gym memberships, equipment, trainers.
What he can't do it fix my head.
Anyway, my goals were sidelined by some health issues that were not all my fault. 2013 is the first year since 2009 that I have not had surgery.
Emergency surgery in 2010, hernia repair in 2011 and breast cancer in 2012.
The drugs I take to prevent breast cancer from reoccuring cause joint pain and bone loss.
So the doctor never wanted me to do a "race" in Florida. As it turns out, the wheels started systematically falling off the bus.
The coach got snowed in and couldn't get there. My sister in law was throwing up and could not go.
I was in so much pain from all joints at that point that doing this would have been torture - I opted out.
Major failure, major disappointment.
The whole trip was difficult and there were times when the only thing I wanted to do was get back on the airport bus.
I went to the parks, swallowed my pride, rented a scooter and soon felt the magic - the reason why I love Disney World so much.
But the day I left my sister in law (who was staying an extra couple of days with her family) said something to me I have been pondering...
She said that I needed to love and care for myself the way that I loved and cared for others.
She was and is right.
The trouble is I have no idea how. It is so foreign to the way that I was raised, the message that was drummed into my head all the time I was growing up, that I was clueless as to how to begin.
But I think it is the answer...
Sounds simple enough doesn't it?
Then why can't I do it.
Several things happened to me this year past that were, as Oprah calls it,
"aha moments".
The first was at the end of February, when I was leaving Disney World.
It was a disappointing trip because I was supposed to do the 5k at the Princess Event.
It was doomed before it began.
Most of you know that I started a journal a few years back. Can't even find it now.
Seventy times seven or something like that - some kind of numerology thing (well not really).
Seemed relevant at the time.
You see I have been dreaming of doing a half marathon at Disney since 2004 - when I weighed about 360 pounds and still have such a dream - as strong as it ever was.
I have been given a truck load of encouragement, have a husband who at first supported my attempt to "race" very strongly, even walked me over a few finish lines, but now, must be as discouraged with me.
He has provided all he can, beautiful, hand made series of t shirts years ago, in various sizes with the slogan "Here a little, there a little...".
Unlimited food budget, gym memberships, equipment, trainers.
What he can't do it fix my head.
Anyway, my goals were sidelined by some health issues that were not all my fault. 2013 is the first year since 2009 that I have not had surgery.
Emergency surgery in 2010, hernia repair in 2011 and breast cancer in 2012.
The drugs I take to prevent breast cancer from reoccuring cause joint pain and bone loss.
So the doctor never wanted me to do a "race" in Florida. As it turns out, the wheels started systematically falling off the bus.
The coach got snowed in and couldn't get there. My sister in law was throwing up and could not go.
I was in so much pain from all joints at that point that doing this would have been torture - I opted out.
Major failure, major disappointment.
The whole trip was difficult and there were times when the only thing I wanted to do was get back on the airport bus.
I went to the parks, swallowed my pride, rented a scooter and soon felt the magic - the reason why I love Disney World so much.
But the day I left my sister in law (who was staying an extra couple of days with her family) said something to me I have been pondering...
She said that I needed to love and care for myself the way that I loved and cared for others.
She was and is right.
The trouble is I have no idea how. It is so foreign to the way that I was raised, the message that was drummed into my head all the time I was growing up, that I was clueless as to how to begin.
But I think it is the answer...