When giving a pet as a gift backfires?

[luvmarypoppins]

My cousin gave my aunt and uncle a dog. She said the reason why was to help my uncle socialize with it for his alzheimers etc.

Well also my aunt is legally blind so on top of helping with my uncle she needs a dog like a hole in the head etc.

Last night on the phone I actually heard her sound a little frustrated with the dog. She has had him a few months and is still training him etc. Not to mention the fence she got etc., dog run, etc.

I think she honestly doesnt want the dog. I dont know how long this will last before she has had enough etc.

If someone gave you a pet and you really didnt want it would you:
keep it
give it back to the person who gave it to you
give it to a shelter etc?

 

[Handbag Lady]

My cousin gave my aunt and uncle a dog. She said the reason why was to help my uncle socialize with it for his alzheimers etc.

Well also my aunt is legally blind so on top of helping with my uncle she needs a dog like a hole in the head etc.

Last night on the phone I actually heard her sound a little frustrated with the dog. She has had him a few months and is still training him etc. Not to mention the fence she got etc., dog run, etc.

I think she honestly doesnt want the dog. I dont know how long this will last before she has had enough etc.

If someone gave you a pet and you really didnt want it would you:
keep it
give it back to the person who gave it to you
give it to a shelter etc?

I would never give a pet to a shelter. I would either give the dog back, making sure it didn't go to a shelter, or I would most likely find a better fit for the dog.

Did they ask for one? Is it not odd to give a dog in this situation?

 

[Uncle Remus]

My cousin gave my aunt and uncle a dog. She said the reason why was to help my uncle socialize with it for his alzheimers etc.

Well also my aunt is legally blind so on top of helping with my uncle she needs a dog like a hole in the head etc.

Last night on the phone I actually heard her sound a little frustrated with the dog. She has had him a few months and is still training him etc. Not to mention the fence she got etc., dog run, etc.

I think she honestly doesnt want the dog. I dont know how long this will last before she has had enough etc.

If someone gave you a pet and you really didnt want it would you:
keep it
give it back to the person who gave it to you
give it to a shelter etc?

B. give it back to the person who gave it to you

at the same moment they thought they were going to give it to me.

 

[FireDancer]

My cousin gave my aunt and uncle a dog. She said the reason why was to help my uncle socialize with it for his alzheimers etc.

Well also my aunt is legally blind so on top of helping with my uncle she needs a dog like a hole in the head etc.

Last night on the phone I actually heard her sound a little frustrated with the dog. She has had him a few months and is still training him etc. Not to mention the fence she got etc., dog run, etc.

I think she honestly doesnt want the dog. I dont know how long this will last before she has had enough etc.

If someone gave you a pet and you really didnt want it would you:
keep it
give it back to the person who gave it to you
give it to a shelter etc?

I think giving a pet as a gift is always a bad idea unless it is to a significant other or your own child and you know for a fact they want it and will take care of it.

Adopting a pet, especially a dog, is something you do carefully and after both socializing with the dog yourself and watching how it interacts with other animals. To give one to someone who hasn't gone through that whole process is unfair to both them and the dog.

 

[NotUrsula]

First off, it is absolutely BONEHEADED to give a gift of a pet without checking first as to whether it will be welcomed.

Second, giving a dog to an elderly couple with serious health issues is a recipe for a neglected dog, unless there are family members who will visit DAILY to care for it. (Also, IME, dogs keep the able elderly at home; they will not want to leave the animal home alone for more than an hour or two, for fear that the dog will soil the house or tear something up.) Under these circumstances, a cat is often a better choice, as they are lower-maintenance in terms of care.

That said, dogs are really very good company/therapy for people with dementia, but as a general rule, it is better to have the animal visit rather than live with that person. By all means, take your well-behaved dog to spend short visits with a sick elder, but do not saddle that person with the responsibility of the animal's daily care.

In this situation, the best choice is to give the dog back to the person who gave it. (If that person can keep the animal, then ask that it be brought for visits on occasion.)

 

[nd5056]

When giving a pet as a gift backfires?

When they call you 4:30AM to take that dog for a walk...

.

 

[hereyago]

Why didn't aunt say " are you crazy and no"?

 

[Ponygirl]

I got both my current dogs from shelters. Perhaps it depends on the shelter, but contrary to popular belief, they are not full of horrible, savage animals. They are full of animals whose owners were not up to the task. Somewhat like this situation.

However, I would offer it back to the giver first if it was me.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Sounds like a sad situation all around, to me. Sad for the dog and for the new owners who don't really sound like a good match for a dog at the moment.

Giving a pet (especially a dog, which requires daily walks) is a BAD idea for a gift unless you know the person seriously wants a dog and you are certain that now is the right time for a dog in their life.

I would hope that if the dog is not working out, the owners would give the dog back to the person who gave them the gift (assuming that person would be able to give the dog a nice home, or re-home the dog). If that doesn't work, I think the next best option is a rescue group if the dog is a certain breed. I donate to a French Bulldog rescue network, and boy, does that organization spoil and love all their dogs so much. A shelter (hopefully no-kill) would be my last option.

We got our last dog from the local shelter--her owner had died and no one in the family wanted her so they dumped her at the shelter. She is a very lucky pup because she is spoiled rotten now.

 

[Pigeon]

I would tell the giver thanks but no thanks and make them deal with the animal.

Giving a pet as a gift is a horrible idea unless it is wanted and has been thoroughly discussed beforehand.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I got both my current dogs from shelters. Perhaps it depends on the shelter, but contrary to popular belief, they are not full of horrible, savage animals. They are full of animals whose owners were not up to the task. Somewhat like this situation.

However, I would offer it back to the giver first if it was me.

Our shelters here are overcrowded and pets are put to sleep after very little time on display for others to rescue. Some dogs only get 24 hours. I couldn't do that to a dog in any situation. I WOULD get a dog FROM a shelter, though.

 

[Buckalew11]

B. give it back to the person who gave it to you

at the same moment they thought they were going to give it to me.

I mean, doesn't your aunt have enough on her plate??? What in the world was the giver thinking???

 

[powellrj]

I mean, doesn't your aunt have enough on her plate??? What in the world was the giver thinking???

My mom has dementia and would love a dog, but its the last thing she needs to deal with. She has enough trouble taking care of herself! I take mine over to visit and sometimes will leave him with my mom and dad for the afternoon and while they love having him, they are ready for him to go after a few hours. He is an elderly yorkie so he is small and not very active and anymore than a couple hours is too long for them!

 

[Jeafl]

My sisters bought my parents a puppy for their anniversary. They wanted me to go in on paying for it and I refused because I thought it was a bad idea. They love the dog and take wonderful care of him, but it has really changed their lives. They used to travel extensively and now can no longer pick up and go like they used to. They are always worried aout getting home to the dog because they don't want him to be alone. It has really cramped their style.

It was also a big expense for them . Vet care, regular meds and grooming costs are very high. It was just a really bad idea since they never expressed an interest in getting a dog, but the deed is done and they have become attached to him.

 

[Zandy595]

No one should ever give anyone a pet as a gift. The person who wants the pet should go and basically have the pet pick them.

 

[Janepod]

The gift giver has no common sense. What a terrible thing to do to your aunt and uncle, and to the dog.

 

[ronandannette]

No one should ever give anyone a pet as a gift. The person who wants the pet should go and basically have the pet pick them.

I totally agree. I am not a "pet person", and for some reason this really gets under some people's skin. There have been several instances of friends and/or relatives being "sure" that if I give little Fido or Fluffy a chance, I will be "changed". I have forcefully declined these "gifts", made the giver take them when they left and I don't particularly care what happened to them after that.

 

[Colleen27]

No one should ever give anyone a pet as a gift. The person who wants the pet should go and basically have the pet pick them.

Amen. The only time pets should be a gift, IMO, is from one spouse to the other or parents to their own minor children. No one should ever make the decision to add an animal to someone else's household. It is just too big a commitment.

With that bad decision already made, however, I'd contact a breed rescue or no-kill shelter to try to find the dog a better home. I doubt I'd give it back to the giver - I wouldn't assume he/she would be any more eager for the responsibility than I was, and I'd rest easier knowing the dog went to someone who really wanted it.

 

[JessicaR]

I think giving a pet as a gift is always a bad idea unless it is to a significant other or your own child and you know for a fact they want it and will take care of it.

Adopting a pet, especially a dog, is something you do carefully and after both socializing with the dog yourself and watching how it interacts with other animals. To give one to someone who hasn't gone through that whole process is unfair to both them and the dog.

I so agree!

 

[DisDance]

This is why Pets are not gifts, they are commitments