Canadian Buffoon's Sweet 16 Celebration - Update 01/28 - The End

Hi Pkondz
Nice start to your report. I think that I would go with me and I instead of I and me.I think that I get a bonus point for that speaking of bonus points here's a Yes from me. I seen it but as I am not alowed to say where I seen it I don't know how you can know for sure that I atualy seen it in a !!!!!! !!!!!!!!. I suspect that you could have had a binding brake pad on that wheel that eventually freed it's self after a few uses of your brake's. Answers coming up.

1:- 07:00 For your get up time.
2:- 12 Capybarers remember this is a auto spell checker.Not my fault if it can't spell Capybarers properly
3:- Yes peting allowed
4:- Rabites, mercats,Miny horse and who can forget the obligatory python to hold.
5:- Hay for the food
6:- There for 3 hours
Go with the flow for the drinks just because of the colors Strawberry Di query for the alcoholic one and strawberry lemonade for the tall glass one..
 
Last edited:
Finally had a moment to get over here and read the update!

What a Jerk

I saw I was tagged in this one, and then when I read the title, I thought, "It figures." :sad2:

I found out three things.
1. They were still expecting us.
2. There was no mud.
3. Well... I'll reserve comment on this
until the next update.

3. There were no animals!

(Just curious... oh, fine.
I'll even throw in some bonus points.
Who thinks that should be "Kay and I"?)

Nope. I'm no grammar Nazi, but I believe "me" is appropriate there. Because I talk English good.

Kay and I were flying to Phoenix
out of Hector International Airport
in Fargo , ND with Allegiant airline.
A three hour drive straight south.
Drive a few more hours and you hit...

Florida.

Which is slightly more exciting than North Dakota.

He does have his Canadian citizenship...
but after a few questions,
it turns out he wouldn't be allowed
into the US without a Visa.

As far as I know, he doesn't have
any credit cards, let alone a VISA,
so he was SOL.

You'd think he could at least get in with an American Express.

Food & drinks in hand,
we turned south
and made a run for the border.

But you just went to 7-11. Why go to Taco Bell?

The border guard looks at the passports...
and then at me.
The moment of truth!
Am I a threat to national security?

Depends on who you ask.:rolleyes1

"Are you constipated?" He asks.
Dang it!!! Not again!

Not after that Taco Bell trip!

"What did they do wrong
that you're not taking the whole family?"

:rotfl2::rotfl2: I didn't know border security guards were allowed to have a personality.

Because it was a Saturday,
I had allocated at least an hour
for the border crossing.

Long lines, hundreds of people in cars.
Heck, hundreds of cars.

We were through, start to finish,
in under five minutes.

Yet another example of efficient American government operations.

FYI, the limit on the North side
of the border is 70.
But the fastest section she's been on is 60.
North Dakota highway limit is 75.

Thank goodness. They could bump it up to 100 and you still wouldn't get through the state fast enough.

The car started to fishtail...
at about 73MPH.

:scared1: That's...uh...not good.

<JERK!!>
The wheel suddenly turned about a quarter turn to the left!
What the heck!?!?

I can see where that would be greatly alarming.


I mean, YIKES!!!:scared1:

Something is very, very wrong.
(See how I figured that out?
I coulda been a mechanic!)

You didn't get the undercoating from the dealer when you bought it, did you? Everyone thinks that's just a useless add-on...

To say I was worried about our flight
is an understatement.
To say I was worried about catching
that flight while my wife and daughter
tried to drive... this home...
worried me even more.

Yeah, that would definitely be on my mind the whole way. Ruby is brave for deciding to drive all the way back!

But then a miracle occurred.
After that 40 miles....
It stopped.
The jerking, I mean.
The car kept going.

Well, thank goodness for that.

I kept thinking.
"This isn't the one I want,
it's the next one."
Until the "next" one
became the "last" one.

D'oh.

We pulled into Fargo around lunch time
and headed straight for...
The Wurst Bier Hall.
(Sound familiar @Captain_Oblivious ?)

LV5fu_0-LE8ex1skqveyENqYOYLgO0l2ndyQQzRh9LN506K6-dk5OiHLg1Qem2kyVLh8Hvq1agsBc2RBJZUX7kvdmEhoo-w0krLDb3igr_TmA3vxgFGA1WGI5mS52Rl5Ybm_uMEYY6W7TU23OXFNeTNm6dhUJfZ8MW8ZySsZ7KLmMQnz38eWxcAaXCC_kBxDSzmTVQ0QfQJ17_Yi3ULKlb0e6unG2lrU0F7zsX6IaMQ-VQwIvLEG3QD0UWEPlHERSyLrVsPRq3oAPzeZmZDfdb9mTCmso8uTvfONe8iRpeNQjvzz6IIuu8883IMaSIabcUtYB4tbiKR_ZQKtaDBvJ8BLPtPL7lGHlSjcCRae6_8omx6gHvJDrbYTCX7FozN_YGglwPWRAFJP_0n2xE9mP8xLGPxXIHWF1pvfMJxS1Haw64-_AO6OE6j9N_Nq-lNXCdmfa7YRKzes0rWX-kEUCACHqe37fEE_sWEb1kR3qV2ChBLS2tZjpR8p6Y8qYEoPo_3DpMG8lTu9g-SdeLKc1eU6-70-cpvcAzbrZuk6uBdZ-e5GTyXXM8XvkLCHHIj-aMXSmWxHL-_ulwoxfwQ7OZq0Rie9s7XBB0pNKpxBOg=w279-h320-no


Riiiiight about now...
You're thinking: "Photos! Thank God!
Maybe he'll shut up."

I wasn't thinking that. I'm pretty sure @afwdwfan was, though.

One of the best things about this place
(for those of us who don't drink beer.
Which in my family is... everyone.)
is that this place has amazing root beer.

On tap!

::yes:: Unfortunately, it doesn't last very long.

Another thing this place has is...
good food!

Which... being a restaurant, is a plus.

That place was pretty awesome.

While I decided to try a
Rabbit, Rattlesnake and Jalapeno sausage

Adventurous! If it was the rabbit from Monty Python, that whole sandwich could kill you.

That warm potato salad.
Wow! and Yum!

Didn't try that on our visit. But I know from experience that warm German potato salad is pretty awesome.

Ruby drove off without so much
as a fare-thee-well.
Like me, she was a bit worried
about the three hour drive home.

So...call me?

I'm curious, if any of you suspect
what the likely culprit was.
I did provide a clue.

Give me your best guess
and I'll throw some bonus points your way.
You don't have to be right.

I would think it would be worse than just being out of alignment. I'm thinking one of the tires either had a bent rim or uneven wear. It might have been full of air, but a bad spot would still throw off the steering.

She went through while I had to
strip almost naked
(well, shoes and belt...
but if that belt had been really necessary,
the naked part would've followed.)

Thanks for the mental image.:headache:

Going through the blow-up stuff detector,
the guard paused to pat down...
my ankle.

What? :confused3

You had one of those cool spy holsters??

Five minutes later,
after having exhausted all that
Hector International Airport had to offer,
we parked our butts at the gate to wait.

Did you visit BOTH shops?

Kay was not happy.
She didn't like the first row.
She felt like people boarding
were looking at her.

Sigh. Dads can never win.

MY BAG WAS FIRST!!!
That's never happened!
Never!!!!

:woohoo: Buy a lottery ticket!

Kay looked at me with that look.
You know. The one every parent gets.
"Daddy... Do something."

So I did.
I walked past the sweating,
despairing mass of humanity
and marched right up to the desk.
"Emerald Aisle?" I asked.
The harried clerk pointed to the left
and said: "Through those doors, turn right."

Wow. Way to come through in the clutch! I withdraw the "dads never win" comment.

It did! I pressed the button
on a random key fob
and I coulda sworn I heard
"Pkooooondz!"

Are you sure it didn't say, "Hey jerk! I won't jerk."

I had started to dump stuff
before I remembered
my DIS obligations.
Mea Culpa.
I'm pretty sure that's Latin for
"Sorry, not really sorry."

Sounds about right. It's a hotel room. We've seen hotel rooms.

These next photos are actually
from the next morning.
But they fit in nicely here,
don't they?

For bonus points, say "yes".

Yes. Mm-hmm. For sure. ::yes::


Hey, this looks familiar to me.

(Do you even remember it?
It was so long ago... way up there! ^)

Of course I remember! How could I forget sausages and homemade root beer??

Nevermind. That's just gas.


Please stop farting.
You're scaring my dog.

Well, stop pulling my finger.

I wound up not getting her
what she'd originally planned on,
(I think it was Oreo Peeps?)

c-gSz8uOO8QuXM0VBnsr0Udntum0YgYHddKGPd4oCYCv0ND5zKuOfKHyYujMXSjdUj2GJYvtjrAOvrU2CMJyBrPvYyks4iPLI-9exKLl_OjUy-ct07c3MKMaNU3Y-4SaASlMopUkryMLk0P7kBBWQ3Rx3CfzzU06PIi1SI19GOMfOmsCPXhIn5FI832ajIkdty5JH5beqTFB-8N8ROlloL--hWggv7b0cEIKwwwpwQBZq5C72weDSdTb1tyiRHoEXLR4epE_ffjz0tC6HjUAlaZPRANXINr55aNcAE8NKtQoNmQ_ucgup6AFKiTKmsOdiHUZa4u2MofODT-NHO63T-bthXMzc13iSSoVfBcQDOnykpm9ce-9tq5n7wMZdV-ycKrm_hbZTHf4LYKO01TDlse84IDpDPwtJWB_0Cpu_VvAvWdmT8COhVt9ha3ARe74sizpWiQneunxO9PbXPNXR6mXj3fg6iqEo2vzvRvbV9gSZMyGl3PWnHyGlOATl-UIRLusvcfqX6zTvRorVz6eJBzG4wOUnSVDMn_nmfRM6v_HvmAs0sjc8G9FGLtfQPVorm4vWxnxSDHRXiFABLwIhlLOsOxRC5fu4teKBe_x-w=w66-h34-no


The only way to escape was to
succumb to their demands
and buy some delicious cookies.
So Birthday Cake Oreos
and Thin Mints in hand
(Sorry @SoccerDogWithEars !)
we managed to extricate ourselves
from their grasp and their tempting wares.

Thin Mints are a far, far better choice there. They keep reducing the size of the box every year, though. Soon you'll get like 3 cookies in there.

Once we were seated,
Kay sat up a little straighter.
Her eyes lit up.
"Ohmagosh, that waiter is so hot."

Her tastes differ from mine.
I only thought he was 'just okay'.

:rotfl2:

Guess what we had?
No, really.
Guess.

Uh...strawberry lemonade and...I dunno, I'm not up on fruity cocktails. Some kind of martini?

She's a weird kid.
She hates almost any berry.
But loves asparagus and broccoli.

I just...I dunno. Is she from earth? You're sure?

I ordered Jambalaya fettuccine
because Jambalaya is a creole
word that translates to:
"Dang! This is some fine food!"

I always wondered about that!

Kay picked birthday cake ice cream
with a brownie.
You know. For health reasons.

Mine.

She would've killed me
if I didn't let her.

:rotfl::rotfl2:

Ahhhhhh.....
Now this... This!
is how one watches a movie.

And if the movie is crappy, you can take a nap!:thumbsup2

1. What time do we get up in the morning?

8:00.

2. We get to the petting zoo!
How many capybaras are there?
0? 3? 6? 12?

Um...I'll go with 3. That seems like an expensive animal to take care of.

3. Does Kay get to touch any animals?

Of course! It's a petting zoo.

4. Name at least one other animal
that can be found at this zoo.
(Private zoo in their backyard.
Picking capybara gets you zero points.)

Something tells me there is a lemur there. And a paca or two.

5. Kay gets to feed a critter.
What does she feed it?
Hay? Corn? Oats? Fava beans? (with a nice Chianti)

Lettuce. Unless she's having an old friend for dinner.

6. How many hours are we there?
1? 2? 3? 4?

I'll say 3. Two seems more than reasonable, but she does have that zealous animal love going.

Bonus: Did you see it?
Try to be vague.
I'll let you know if you're
too vague.

Your alter-ego seems to be hoping they serve a free breakfast.
 
What a Jerk
That's what most people say about you...

The petting zoo that I was taking Kay to,
is run by a husband and wife.
I'd talked to the owner,
and when I told her when we'd be there,
she'd made a comment:
"We shouldn't have any mud by then."
No mud? Screw that! What's a petting zoo without mud?

So after a few days, I phoned.
I found out three things.
1. They were still expecting us.
2. There was no mud.
3. Well... I'll reserve comment on this
until the next update.
NO!!!! Cruel teaser!

(Just curious... oh, fine.
I'll even throw in some bonus points.
Who thinks that should be "Kay and I"?)
Nope. Me all the way.

"Where are you going?"
"Well.... I and my younger daughter
are heading to Phoenix and then LA,
while my wife and older daughter
are going to Fargo and then returning
back to Winnipeg later today."


He looks at us for a second.

"What did they do wrong
that you're not taking the whole family?"
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:

"Okay." I thought. "Getting settled.
Still... better not do that at high speed!"
45... 50... 55... <JERK!>
What the?
I quickly glanced at her
and she seemed composed.
55... 55... 60... 70... <JERK!>
I think Ruby and or Elle (or me)
may have let out a little scream.
The car started to fishtail...
at about 73MPH.
"Foot off the gas! Pull over!" I ordered.
I don't remember if
I grabbed the steering wheel.
I may have.
Or she may have gotten it under
control quickly enough
that I didn't have to.
Gotta learn those drifting skills early!

Something is very, very wrong.
(See how I figured that out?
I coulda been a mechanic!)
U iz smrt.

My intent was to get to a garage in Grand Forks.
To say I was worried about our flight
is an understatement.
To say I was worried about catching
that flight while my wife and daughter
tried to drive... this home...
worried me even more.

But then a miracle occurred.
After that 40 miles....
It stopped.
The jerking, I mean.
The car kept going.
The jerk behind the wheel
was greatly relieved...
and a little bit doubtful
that it wouldn't start up again.
Yeah. Mechanical problems usually do heal themselves after a couple of miles.

Riiiiight about now...
You're thinking: "Photos! Thank God!
Maybe he'll shut up."
Finally!

(I'm a poet and wasn't
cognizant of the fact.)
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:

I'm curious, if any of you suspect
what the likely culprit was.
I did provide a clue.

Give me your best guess
and I'll throw some bonus points your way.
You don't have to be right.
Clearly, some highway engineer screwed up and the pavement on the highway was uneven causing the wheel to jerk quickly as you hit those spots. I blame @Captain_Oblivious

But probably something wrong with the tire... broken cords or something. Maybe a bulge that you didn't see because you didn't look closely enough. Possibly even the alignment bolts came loose and allowed the suspension to shift. I'm guessing a broken tie rod or ball joint isn't the cause because Ruby would have had her hands full getting back home.

I promised that for the
return trip to Fargo,
we would definitely not sit
in the front row.

Easy enough promise to make,
considering we weren't making
a return trip to Fargo.
That's just evil. Funny. But evil.

MY BAG WAS FIRST!!!
That's never happened!
Never!!!!
:banana::banana::banana::banana::banana:

For bonus points, say "yes".
Yes

You're scaring my dog.
And the dog is STILL hungry.

"Ohmagosh, that waiter is so hot."

Her tastes differ from mine.
I only thought he was 'just okay'.
Have you ever taken her to Via Napoli? Because I seem to keep hearing similar things about that place. Right, @Steppesister ?

I ordered Jambalaya fettuccine
because Jambalaya is a creole
word that translates to:
"Dang! This is some fine food!"
Because what else would you eat at "California Pizza Kitchen???"

Kay picked birthday cake ice cream
Something tells me she likes birthday cake flavored snacks.

"Kay!" I cried. "Push your button!"
(She will push my buttons later
in the trip.)
That's what kids are for.

1. What time do we get up in the morning?
The butt crack of dawn. Or 7.

2. We get to the petting zoo!
How many capybaras are there?
0? 3? 6? 12?
Too many? Is that an option? Um... 6

3. Does Kay get to touch any animals?
Does a bear crap in the woods? Yes!

4. Name at least one other animal
that can be found at this zoo.
(Private zoo in their backyard.
Picking capybara gets you zero points.)
Their dog.

5. Kay gets to feed a critter.
What does she feed it?
Hay? Corn? Oats? Fava beans? (with a nice Chianti)
hay

6. How many hours are we there?
1? 2? 3? 4?
4 It could probably be done in an hour, but you're taking Kay, so...

Bonus: Did you see it?
Try to be vague.
I'll let you know if you're
too vague.
Lobby photobomb.

I wasn't thinking that. I'm pretty sure @afwdwfan was, though.
::yes::
 
Holy crap! I take a few days off the DIS and you've got four more pages! I will be back to reply but I can't do it quite yet. I've been busy with out of town guests keeping them entertained at a local attraction. Perhaps you are familiar with it. They leave tomorrow so perhaps by then. I will get back to normal life.
 


1. 8am

2. 6

3. of course! yes

4. goat

5. Oats
though, Fava beans (with a nice Chianti) sounds yumm lol

6. 3


Bonus: Did you see it?
yes.. checking out the lobby? or laying in wait of certain guests? haha

yay for first bag off the plane, but then it's always inevitable to have to wait for any other ones. haha :D

and "yes" - I honestly remember only to say yes for bonus points- not why lol
 
Hi kids! Back from the deep south.
You know... Minnesota.

Back to shout-outs!
 


When I first read this I was thinking...."Is Pkondz really referring to Kay as the dog?" LOL then...

No. I feed her.

I realized that no, I was just way out in left field.

How's the weather over there?

Not I. I just finished an English composition class last semester. I is smart!:tongue:

You is!

Huh, thought I was the only crazy to do this. Always start my trips south with going north to visit my favorite speedway.

Favourite speedway?
Can you explain that?


Aren't we all?

Well....

Yeah. Pretty much!


We get it...you can't just now.

I AM NOT CONST....

oh, nevermind.


Back firing from gas you got at an out of the way gas station.

I'm glad you didn't say it
was me with the gas.


Is this for the potato sack races after breakfast?

All the finer hotels have them. :snooty:

why sure they do!

Thanks!

pink lemonade and cranberry martini!

I think the alcoholic type one
was a cosmo.


7:00 am

6

yes

Alpaca

Hay

3

Noted!

Hmmm Marvins mama didn't teach him, you don't plant your feet where your breakfast goes!

Rude. No?

Like a trooper with tears in her eyes?

Oh wait... that wasn't part of the questions was it. Well darn!

We'll see if you're prophetic
or not in the next update. :)
 
Hope you have a great trip!

Thanks! It was nice. :)

It's like Peanut Butter but made with these cinnamon/spice cookies (pretty sure it is Speculoos cookies). I first heard of it online somewhere, probably on Facebook and never could find it anywhere, but then we found it at Aldi's. I have recently found it at Wal-Mart, too. It's good in sandwiches, on crackers, I like it with pretzels, really good, it's not a strong cinnamon/spice flavor but really good.

Huh. Now I know.
Thanks!

Guess I'll have to see if
I can find some around here.
 
Not going to enter the contest (I like to see how many points I get inadvertantly) but I wanted to chime in anyway.

No problem!
The contest is there for those who want....
And for those who don't...
You can watch the others.

:)


My dad used to make root beer when I was a kid and there is nothing like it. It required yeast and would have to sit for several days to proof and get fizzy.

mmmmm....

It must've been delicious!
Tell me it was!


Every once in a while we'd hear a BANG! in the basement and wonder if Ma had taken a shot at Pa again.

:lmao:

(Just kidding- the bottles would explode and the cat would run away. Good times, good times.)

:laughing:
Poor cat....

But.... hilarious!
 
I think things may have changed since.

Doesn't matter.
Because I'm not there, now!


You didn't ask.

Silly me.

But... anticipate my needs!!


True - but we can get some good speed going on our toll roads. Interestingly enough (to me), my best mpg has been 26.7 (I've had my car since Jan). Yesterday, I hit 28.2 mpg traveling about 75 mph on a local freeway. Speeding...yes....also going with the flow of traffic.

Huh!
You'd think you'd have worse mileage.
What car did you get?


My dad was able to transition into 'calm dad' mode long enough to convince me to start driving again and exit the highway. I'm pretty sure I was on the receiving end of a behind chewing after pulling over.

"behind chewing"

:lmao:

How'd ya know? Oh that's right....still reading.

See? ;)

Time for a murse (man purse)

Mope!
I mean... Nope!

I will freely admit to having
worn a fanny pack on
a couple of Disney trips.

YEARS AGO.

But not now.
<shudder>
 
:wave2:

Long time- no see!

Dee!!!
:welcome: to the TR!!
Missed you!
How are the goats?


I truly enjoy your trip reports, even the ones that I get so hopelessly behind on that I don't finish.

Sorry about that!

No worries. :)
Life. I get it.


I have not read ahead, so I don't know if your next post has the answers, so I will attempt some guesses. Love the multiple choice format!

You're welcome. ;)

1. What time do we leave?

5 am


2. Do I drive? Fly? Both? Neither?


Fly- trick question- someone else (DW?) drives?

3. What one specific question am I
asked by the US border guard?
(Bonus question for my long time readers.)


Do you ever smile?

4. We buy Girl Guide cookies. What kind?
Tagalongs, Thin Mints, Savannah Smiles.


Thin Mints


5. We go out for dinner of course.
What gets Kay excited?
The décor, the cute waiter, her favourite dish.


Décor


6. What treat do Kay and I have later?
Ice cream, donuts, pie.


Did you already finish off the cookies???

Ice Cream

7. We go see a movie that night. Which?
Beauty and the Beast, Ghost in the Shell, Logan


Logan


8. What is it about the theatre that gets us excited?
D Box seats, reclining seats with foot-rests, reserved seating

Reclining Seats

Noted.
Your score: 45 points
.

Definitely Kay and me

Definitely. :)

I was going to go with a political answer about needing to adjust to compensate for the jerks who are too far one side, but no religion or politics on the DIS.

:laughing: Not bad!

Two tires with low air pressure?

Two for the price of one!

Your lunch stop sounds fabulous. Fresh brewed root-beer is the best.

Sooooo good.
Had some on Sunday.
Yum!


My 16 year old younger son always gets precheck as well.

Wonder how that happens?

I just said "Yes" but I don't know if you heard me?

Sure!

1. What time do we get up in the morning?

7 am

2. We get to the petting zoo!
How many capybaras are there?
0? 3? 6? 12?

3


3. Does Kay get to touch any animals?

Yes

4. Name at least one other animal
that can be found at this zoo.
(Private zoo in their backyard.
Picking capybara gets you zero points.)

Goats. Also chickens, dogs, donkey.


5. Kay gets to feed a critter.
What does she feed it?
Hay? Corn? Oats? Fava beans? (with a nice Chianti)

Goats eat oats


6. How many hours are we there?
1? 2? 3? 4?

3

Noted!

Not yet. Going back...

??? interesting place for cup holders?


:goodvibes

Hmmmm... too vague.
Explain a bit more or PM me. :)
 
Wow what an update! And what a journey! Nice hotel, good food, a good start. Cute waiter is a plus, although when food is in front of me, I usually don't notice such things.

I'm still reeling from my 80 points!! Beginners luck, I'm sure.

1. What time do we get up in the morning?

7am

2. We get to the petting zoo!
How many capybaras are there?
0? 3? 6? 12?

6

3. Does Kay get to touch any animals?

Yes

4. Name at least one other animal
that can be found at this zoo.
(Private zoo in their backyard.
Picking capybara gets you zero points.)

Alpaca


5. Kay gets to feed a critter.
What does she feed it?
Hay? Corn? Oats? Fava beans? (with a nice Chianti)

Oats?

6. How many hours are we there?
1? 2? 3? 4?

3

Bonus: Did you see it?
Try to be vague.
I'll let you know if you're
too vague.

I didn't see IT because I am scared of clowns.
 
Yep...
This was a bit of a long chapter.
(Good but longish)

Which means that now you get to suffer through a long set of utterly pointless replies...
Posted by a complete idiot....

Should'a considered that might happen, huh?



So after a few days, I phoned.
I found out three things.
1. They were still expecting us.
2. There was no mud.
3. Well... I'll reserve comment on this
until the next update.
Dun Dun Duuuunnnnn…
tenor.gif


Sounds right ominous
(of course, in a perfect world, that gif would have been a capybara rather than a prairie dog, but my world ain’t perfect very often).


The infernal noise machine
jolted me out of bed at 5:15am.
We refer to our infernal noise machine as “Satin’s Minion”


(Just curious... oh, fine.
I'll even throw in some bonus points.
Who thinks that should be "Kay and I"?)
Was thinking about going off on a diatribe related to “English Teachers”, steel rulers, permanent disfigurement, and ongoing nightmares, but instead I’ll just say…

“me” sounds better, so I don’t care what the rule may or may not be.


Drive a few more hours and you hit...

Florida.
Your definition of “a few” seems to vary just a smidgen from mine.
Would that be an exchange rate thing or and metric conversion thing?


But her boyfriend is
originally from Columbia.
He does have his Canadian citizenship...
but after a few questions,
it turns out he wouldn't be allowed
into the US without a Visa.
On behalf of my Nation, I’d like to say…

LT_-_Sylvester_Jr%20(1).jpg



As far as I know, he doesn't have
any credit cards, let alone a VISA,
rimshot%20animation%20yellow.gif



Just as well…
His credit info would have been scooped up by the Equfax hack if he did.


Food & drinks in hand,
we turned south
and made a run for the border.
So…
7/11 food = Taco Bell food
(actually, that sounds about right, don’t it?)


Am I a threat to national security?
Probably…

I am, and you’re collaborating with me, so…


He gets down to business.
(Since he assumed I didn't have to.
I kinda felt like he gave me the bum's rush.)
I’ll be here all week…
Try the borscht!


Once inside the US,
I parked the car
so we could use your
wonderful American plumbing.
sam-the-eagle-timbers-army-dave-hoytjpg-47d373c8e538f7e7.jpg



North Dakota highway limit is 75.
Apparently, I need to spend some time driving in North Dakota…


Something is very, very wrong.
(See how I figured that out?
I coulda been a mechanic!)
Well, a lot of mechanics are jerks…
Just ask Tom & Ray.

(well, you can’t ask Ray any more unfortunately, but Tom will back me up on this one)


Luckily, I always carry a tire pressure gauge.
Unluckily, this was Ruby's car.
She doesn't.
so much for being prepared.


I discussed the situation with Ruby.
We decided
(i.e. She told me.)
You have learned well over the years…


We decided to stop in Grand Forks anyway.
Apparently, the risk of death
loosens the bladder somewhat.
Everyone had to go.
Better than if no one needed to…
any more…


Of course, I missed the exit.
Exits... plural.
All of them.
shocked-face.jpg



I (not without some hesitation)
turned to Kay and asked if she wanted
to try driving again?

I was a bit surprised when she said "Yes".
Well, it didn’t turn out to be her, so it’s both good that you offered and she took you up in it.


We pulled into Fargo around lunch time
and headed straight for...
The Wurst Bier Hall.
It’s reputation precedes it
(for some of us, at least)


(I'm a poet and wasn't
cognizant of the fact.)
One should always properly mangle a cliché when the opportunity presents its self.


One of the best things about this place
(for those of us who don't drink beer.
Which in my family is... everyone.)
is that this place has amazing root beer.

On tap!
Cool. We’ve got a place that offers such down this way.
Too bad I dislike the taste of sassafras.


Another thing this place has is...
good food!

Which... being a restaurant, is a plus.
Taking a giant step up from the 7/11 here, I see.


Kay had a Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich,
with a side of spaetzle
Everything is better with a side of spaetzle.


Fully sated, we headed to the bustling,
hustling International Airport.
We managed to find a spot,
right in front of the departure area!
Which, if I'm not mistaken,
was also the arrival area.
As well as the Skycaps, the taxi dispatch, the concierge desk, the Tiffany’s boutique and the Starbucks


No big feat, considering
we were the only car there.
That Disney VIP bus/parking pass was still working for you, I see. Obviously all the rest of the lowlifes and ne'er-do-wells were forced to use the remote long term parking garage on the edge of town and catch the shuttle back into the main terminal.


Ruby drove off without so much
as a fare-thee-well.
Perfectly understandable…
She’d been dealing with jerks for better than three hours.


And I didn't find out until much later,
that they didn't have any issues at all.
I got to be stressed about it
for quite a while, though.
‘Cause, that’s what we do.


I'm curious, if any of you suspect
what the likely culprit was.
I did provide a clue.
A clue which I’m sure it slap missed…

I’m going go out on a bit of a limb and exonerate the vehicle in this instance (and surprisingly, both drivers as well), and shove all the blame onto the sorry state of south bound I-29. Weather can be brutal on the infrastructure and concrete roads tend to fair more poorly then one might expect.


Give me your best guess
and I'll throw some bonus points your way.
You don't have to be right.
Good thing, cause I see the notion of being correct in this instance as highly improbable.


We weighed our bags and
Mine was about 30lbs... (yes!)
and Kay's was... about 30lbs!
A far cry from the 7,245lbs
when we took her to Europe.
She has progressed, considerable

(My Missus has learned to pare down on the packing a great deal over the years as well…
better for both our backs.)


Going through the blow-up stuff detector,
the guard paused to pat down...
my ankle.

What? :confused3
New guy obviously…
Everyone knows you keep the knives and nerve-gas canisters hidden in the soles of your shoes.


Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me,
Kay had been taken into a closed
room for a pat down.
Do we need to contact the ACLU, for you?


Security hurdles crossed,
With three seconds added to you time for each one that you knocked down…


Kay was not happy.
She didn't like the first row.
She felt like people boarding
were looking at her.
No good dead…


Easy enough promise to make,
considering we weren't making
a return trip to Fargo.
Details, details…
You kept the promise (as stated)


MY BAG WAS FIRST!!!
That's never happened!
Never!!!!
They did that out of spite…
It bought you nothing and now you can no longer claim the distinction.


Kay looked at me with that look.
You know. The one every parent gets.
"Daddy... Do something."
The precursor to “The Look” that she’ll be using on some other poor slob in the future.
It’s a skill that takes time to prefect.


I walked past the sweating,
despairing mass of humanity
and marched right up to the desk.
"Emerald Aisle?" I asked.
The harried clerk pointed to the left
and said: "Through those doors, turn right."
Car Rental Fast Pass…
And you didn’t even need the Magic Bands.


A little big for just the two of us,
but... I dunno.
It just called to me.
The gold calls to us…

Oh, wait…
Wrong movie.

It was probable saying something more like:
“Hay Big Boy, I’ve got the best air conditioner out here. Just promise me you won’t spend too much time watching that silly ol’ fuel gauge, hummmm?”


Mea Culpa.
I'm pretty sure that's Latin for
"Sorry, not really sorry."
More often it appears to mean : “I’m sorry that I got caught”


For bonus points, say "yes".
“yes”


This has been a test of the National TR Skimming Avoidance System…
This was only a test.


Do you even remember it?
Yep…
There was spaetzle

And sarsaparilla…


I wound up not getting her
what she'd originally planned on,
(I think it was Oreo Peeps?)
Thank the Lord…
Peeps are just one steep from Brussel Sprouts in terms of foulness.


And upon exiting the store,
we were surrounded by a terrifying horde
(i.e. two)
of Girl Scouts/Guides/whatever... leave me alone.
The only way to escape was to
succumb to their demands
Resistance is futile…


A few minutes later,
we arrived at our dinner destination.
That’s a new one on me (which being a Left-Coast establishment shouldn’t be surprising), but low-and behold, apparently they have a location near my homestead. Of course it is smack in the middle of the uppityist of up-scale neighborhoods (the kind of place where there are checkpoints to weigh your wallet before allowing entry by members of the hoi polloi), but it is there.


Her tastes differ from mine.
I only thought he was 'just okay'.
Just not your type, eh Big Boy….


I didn't take a photo.
Kay has a phone; it’s entirely plausible she took one.


Now if it had been a hot waitress...
You’d have broken out the Hugh Heffner costume and gotten a good picture outside with all the neon lights in the background?


Guess what we had?
No, really.
Guess.
I took a picture,
but forgot to note it.
"I'll just remember. No problem!"

:sad2:

P1030230_zpsyfxdl9ay.jpg



Sparkling Cranberry Cooler on the left
Yours is tougher to suss out tough, but It looks more martini-ish then margarita-ish…
(too bad there aren’t any martinis on their published menu)


I ordered Jambalaya fettuccine
because Jambalaya is a creole
word that translates to:
"Dang! This is some fine food!"
“I Guar-an-tee!”


Kay picked birthday cake ice cream
with a brownie.
You know. For health reasons.

Mine.

She would've killed me
if I didn't let her.
Never come between a teen and a confection…


"Kay!" I cried. "Push your button!"
OK, this makes my snicker…
In our house (way back when, before he got all growed up and such), we would always quote the great Professor Fate’s gallant refrain: “Push the button, Max!”

Of course, He never got it until I sat him down to watch the film in question.
We still do so, but now he just rolls his eyes.


(She will push my buttons later in the trip.)
I do belive that would be a young’en’s Prime Directive.
Besides, we weren’t there to do it, so Extra points for the young lady.


Ahhhhhh.....
Now this... This!
is how one watches a movie.
Similar such extravagances have arrived down this way as well.
We first encountered such back in January, I think it was, and I was somewhat shocked as well.
I was surprised by the assigned seating first off and did the same double take as you when we walked into the theater. Not a trend that I was aware of till then.


1. What time do we get up in the morning?
7:00


2. We get to the petting zoo!
How many capybaras are there?
0? 3? 6? 12?
Three…

3. Does Kay get to touch any animals?
You betch’em Red rider.


4. Name at least one other animal
that can be found at this zoo.
(Private zoo in their backyard.
Picking capybara gets you zero points.)
How about a Kangaroo
Maybe some Alpaca
A few Rabbits, I’m sure
And quite possibly an Emu…


5. Kay gets to feed a critter.
What does she feed it?
Hay? Corn? Oats? Fava beans? (with a nice Chianti)
Corn (well, corn husk at least)

6. How many hours are we there?
1? 2? 3? 4?
Two

Bonus: Did you see it?
Try to be vague.
I'll let you know if you're
too vague.
“This redundant brick structure is obstructing my view of the data center!”
 
I meannnnn......we'd feed you ice cream again.

Can you get rid of all this construction?

No Comment.

Hit a sore spot, did I?

:rolleyes2

Wait, hang on. Having flashbacks to high school church camp.

Details, please.

popcorn::

Done! (or, will be once I finish typing my replies)

Got it!

Not the idea of them. The taste. It's too much like toothpaste and chocolate at the same time.

Ohhh...

You know what?
I get that!

I don't like it when I brush
my teeth right after
eating chocolate.


I can believe it.

Is it still paranoia
when they really are
out to get you?


Nope. Because you wouldn't say "to accompany I." Unless you're feeling particularly fancy that morning.

When do I not
feel particularly fancy???


Because really, how many people are dying to cross the border in North Dakota?

At least four.
On that particular day.


Actually, what's becoming
a major problem
is all the people coming North
seeking asylum.


It's all part of the government conspiracy to bring everyone to the left!!!!!!!!!!!

And then doing the hokey pokey!

No. Wait.
That's not what you meant....



Or is it?


Past that, my first thoughts would be alignment or power steering fluid. But keep in mind I look under the hood with Joe and contribute "Yep, still got an engine and a battery. We're good"

You found the battery?
These days, that's no easy feat!


Holy moley! How in the world did that happen????

Oh, simple.
It was a tease.
Since then we still had
to wait for Kay's bag.

I full expected hers
to be dead last.

(It wasn't.)



Thanks!

But does she still want food?

You have a dog.
When does a dog ever
not want food????


Sigh. I'm hurt and betrayed.
But. Since you're sending me chocolate.
I think I can find it in my heart to be magnanimous and forgive you.

Phew! Close one.

Oh I remember those days.

Me too!
Wait... I still do that...


Two words. Brownie Batter. There's a reason it's my go-to flavor

Because it doesn't have mint?

Hmm....8:24

0. You were foreboding earlier for a reason.

Yes. Probably their pet dog or something

Llama/Alpaca

Hay.
I did, in my head though, go "F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f"

2.

Noted!
(And.... f-f-f-f-f-t! back atcha! :laughing:)


I'll have to go back about the seeing it, because, you know, black x's and all.

Got your PM!
 
HOLD ON!!!! Am I hallucinating?????? Have I missed some big amazing piece of news? I see your new vacation ticker is remarkably similar to @Steppesister AND MINE!!!

:wave:

Hey There!

I will be there from the 12th-18th. And have a pretty packed schedule. :) And I know we've been trying to find a time to Meet. Let's keep talking! (Yes, I owe you a PM!) I don't know PK's dates for sure, but maybe we can find a time for all of meet up??

Why yes it is @cinderkelly !
I'm meeting @Steppesister on the 18th,
although details are fuzzy right now.
Will you be there then?
 

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