How do you get past the "leaving the kids at home" guilt?

afinnteach

Mouseketeer
Joined
Nov 10, 2005
DH has a conference for work at WDW in October and I am considering flying down to join him the weekend after for a mini-trip to the Food and Wine Festival. It is his birthday weekend and we are not planning on taking the kids (DD 10, DS 8). Don't feel too bad for the kiddos, they were just in WDW last November AND the summer before that, so they are no strangers to the Kingdom! Still, my mommy side is feeling bad hiding this trip from them.

Why leave them at home? We are planning on focusing on Food and Wine, visiting Trader Sam's, and maybe evening eating at a signature restaurant or two. Flying 3 is a lot more expensive and we are already saving for a Disney cruise in 2017 (for the whole family) and sometimes you just want to ride the Tower of Terror with your DH (our DS 8 is still chicken!)

So, how do you go to WDW without the kids and not feel terrible? What do you tell them? What do you do about bringing a souvenir home for them? (Which we always do when we go away without them.)
 
this is important for your marriage - you definitely need some alone time w/o kids. since you seem to be planning for f&W and that means less kid time.

just tell them they get to go on the cruise. and if they complaint or try to make you feel bad just tell them you can always cancel the cruise.
 
Good point! We DO go away as a couple (in fact we just spent a weekend in NYC and went to a U2 concert - way cool!) It's the fact that we will be at Disney that is fueling my guilt. Next to Chautauqua - which is my kids favorite place on earth - Disney is their "go to" spot. Also, we always bring them home a present when we go away without them and I'm not sure what to do this time - was NOT planning on telling them we were at Disney, just that we were going to a food festival. (not quite a lie, right?)
 
I'm a little worried about this. Our soon to be 3 year olds won't really know the difference, but our 9 year old does know. However, we bought APs and went in June, and we are going next June. We decided to do an adults only trip for Feb for 3 nights.
We explained 1) it's our anniversary 2) we're going again in June 3)the older one is supposed to go to school.
Also, my kids love Disney, but my oldest son knows that Disney is kind of my thing...I grew up next to Disneyland and we went to Disneyworld before we had him.
I don't know about gifts. We'll probably bring back some Disney pins.
 


You should definitely not feel guilty. It's important to spend time together as just a couple, and it's so true - how much would the kids enjoy the F&W festival? The cruise will be awesome for the whole family, just focus on the two of you for now.
 
was NOT planning on telling them we were at Disney, just that we were going to a food festival. (not quite a lie, right?)

just say you are going to a wine festival - which they would be bored at - which is very true. Seem too many kids at the food/wine festival once the parents start drinking the kids can be really bad. Since the parents are now ignoring them.

that to me is a problem - what you are doing is much. much safer for both you and your children.

who or what do they like at WDW - just buy that and if they ask say it was from a Disney store in the area. or buy them a non-wdw thing - of course in wdw those are much harder to find.
 
Don't tell them! Problem solved.

We never went to WDW alone when the kids were living at home, so I didn't have this issue.

My parents were there (Dad had a work conference) when I was moving into my freshman dorm at college. I was the youngest of a large family so it was old hat to them, but I was mad. Still am 35 years later. My brother-in-law had to take me to college. They had never taken us to WDW.
 


"Don't tell" 10 and 8 year olds? I'd never be able to pull that off without eventually having to outright lie - and then what? When they figure out we were never telling the truth all along? Not judging others here - I just know that I wouldn't be able to keep the secret. And feel the cost of my kids knowing I lied to them would be too great. If I lie to them, why wouldn't they start lying to me? Again, not passing judgement on others, just sharing my thoughts and weaknesses.

I also totally agree with PPs that parents need time separate from their kids. Even vacation time!

What to bring them home? Ask them what they'd like. That way, they know you care about them and will be thinking about them while you are gone. And add a new Disney DVD or two to the mix. When you get home, schedule a family movie night and do Disney At Home. Make it fun!
 
We are doing an adult only trip as well this October. Our kids are 2, 5, and 7 and we told them(ok DH told them; I was in the don't tell camp). They have whined a little but overall haven't said to much about it. We have been as a family the last two years and have plans to go back with the kids either in the fall of 2016 or spring of 2017. In our 7 years since having kids this will be our first real vacation without them, in fact it will be our first time for more than one night without them. Our kids will get over it ~ NO guilt required!
 
DH has a conference for work at WDW in October and I am considering flying down to join him the weekend after for a mini-trip to the Food and Wine Festival. It is his birthday weekend and we are not planning on taking the kids (DD 10, DS 8). Don't feel too bad for the kiddos, they were just in WDW last November AND the summer before that, so they are no strangers to the Kingdom! Still, my mommy side is feeling bad hiding this trip from them.

Why leave them at home? We are planning on focusing on Food and Wine, visiting Trader Sam's, and maybe evening eating at a signature restaurant or two. Flying 3 is a lot more expensive and we are already saving for a Disney cruise in 2017 (for the whole family) and sometimes you just want to ride the Tower of Terror with your DH (our DS 8 is still chicken!)

So, how do you go to WDW without the kids and not feel terrible? What do you tell them? What do you do about bringing a souvenir home for them? (Which we always do when we go away without them.)
If you are LUCKY enough to have a trusted family member volunteer to lovingly care for your kids, GO AND ENJOY!:cheer2:
We didn't have relatives who we asked to watch our kids to take a "no kids" vaca. Grandparents were fabulous, but never watched the kids so we could vaca without them. Nice that we have "paid our dues" and looking forward to eating and drinking "round the world" this October! :drinking1Still take and LOVE our family vacations also!:Pinkbounc::yes::
 
We are leaving our kids (2 and 4) for our 10 year anniversary trip in February. Sometimes I feel bad, but then I remember that
A. They've already been (older one 2x!)
B. We will go again as a family in the next 2 years and
C. If I was going on a trip to Mexico or the Carribean, I don't think I would feel as bad. But just because it's Disney, doesn't mean DH and I can't celebrate ALONE! LOL. We need it after taking care of toddlers!

I'm sure I'll have pangs of guilt here and there...but I'll just go have a margarita and a fancy meal and feel better :)
 
My husband and I are doing an adults only trip this January and I do not feel guilty at all. We've taken our kids (3 &7) every year since they were 1 and we are going as a family in 20 days. I told them we are going and that they are going to stay at their grandparents for the week. They are ok with it. There is no way I would lie because we will talk to them on the phone or facetime while we are there plus we'll have photos and stuff.
 
We're doing a solo trip next month too and I have had zero guilt. They've all been and we have a deal that I'll take each one of them on their own solo trip with just me sometime around their 8th birthday (when they can really appreciate it).

My DH and I never get alone time together and disney is my favorite place! We got ourselves, just the two of us, annual passes this year so we can really focus on our relationship this year. I'm a SAHM and he works 80 hours a week so we never see each other and it's taking a toll on us. With the APs, it will encourage us to schedule some well needed time alone.
 
this is my system for getting over the guilt.
i get in the car and leave.DONE
tell my 2 that is the only week end that i can put up with them:earsboy:
as you can tell i have a 14 dd and a 22 ds
 
My best friend and I are planning a kids free trip next year and I have decided to straight up lie. We are telling our families that we are going to "Florida to see friends". I decided to stay at CBR so we can take "fake" pictures with generic tropical backgrounds, and we aren't posting to social media. The only thing I'm a little bummed about is not being able to buy any Disney souvenirs. Guilt? Absolutely none :)
 
WDW was my favorite place before I had kids. I feel guilty for a little while, but then I get to do the things I never get to do when they are there. They always get a really nice souvenir (or two), which they love. It would be one thing if the kids had never gone before, but they've been multiple times and will go again. Enjoy the time with your husband!
 
I just couldn't do it!! My DH and I went to vegas last weekend from Thurs till Mon and I felt guilty. Vegas isn't even for kids. There is no way I could do WDW without the kids.
My DH doesn't get a lot of vacation time so I feel the time he does take off we should spend as a family.
If you want to do it just do it. Tell them you'll mostly be sitting in restaurants, they probably wouldn't even want to go then.
 
When our kids were 6 and 9 we went without them, we were honest, asked what they wanted and brought back souvenirs. Since then we have gone with and without them. They were and are still fine. WDW isn't just for kids, if it was they would not have a Food and WINE festival. Go have fun, tell the truth, they will want to see pictures of your trip and hear stories. Lying about where you are going may seem small but it will snowball into months of little lies.
 
DH and I have gone several times without our kiddos and I don't feel a bit guilty. We always told them the truth and brought back a souvenir for them of course. The thing is, we work very hard to take care of our children and they have been to WDW more times than any child should probably be allowed to go. If we want to use our money and our couples only vacation time (my mom always keeps the kids for a week for us to go on vacation together) to go to WDW, that is what we will do. I am not sure why anyone would think you need to feel guilty...you are the adult, you make the money, and you make the decisions.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!





Top