??s for Parents of 12 yr olds....

wishesuponastar · Aug 27, 2015

I don't remember what time we set for our daughters when they were 12 but at 13, they had a 9:30 bedtime and at 14 she will too since she is going to set her alarm for 5:15. Now she wasn't asleep at 9:30 probably more like 10:30.

HM · Aug 28, 2015

mjkacmom said:
I'm shocked at how early teenagers have to be in bed! Sure, when they were little, they went bed at 8, 8:30. But now? Soccer practice for my 12 year olds is 7:45 - 9:15. Dance class is from 7:30 - 9:30, girls get home set 10. I'm happy when they're in bed by 11! On weekends and summer, they can go to bed when they want - heck, with all of the sleepovers, they're up all night a lot anyway.

I don't know anyone who gives HS students bedtimes.

All our sports or extracurriculars took place after school not at night (except Scouts, which they both stopped doing mid-middle school).

They started school at 7:30 (were up at 6:30) done by 2:30. If they had a sport, it was after school before dinner time. Scouts was once a week after dinner. Homework either after school or after dinner then time to watch TV, play games, or do whatever. Bedtime was 8:30 at the younger ages working up to 10pm as HS seniors (unless they had some pressing project or a TV show that we thought warranted being up later). They never really complained. They did tell us that other friends didn't have bedtimes or got to stay up later. We reminded them about how such and such seemed to be sick a lot and they weren't. They got it, they understood that sleep was important. Friday/Saturday/Holidays were a different matter.

They are in college now and are able to set their own schedules, as expected.

mjkacmom · Aug 28, 2015

HS sports are after school. Dd14 will run cross country every day after school, come home briefly, and then head to dance. My kids participate in travel soccer, which starts with the U8 teams. Since our league only goes up to U14, the U12's are considered the older kids, and get the late time slots. The boys and girls freshman, JV, and varsity soccer teams get the fields after school.

DnA2010 · Aug 29, 2015

DD is 11, 6th grade. She has a phone, but doesn't have a data/phone plan so it's essentially an iPod. She gets to play on it/message friends/ watch movies etc, but not later in the evening and it charges downstairs. Last year she went to bed between 8-9, this year I would imagine it will be closer to 9. In the morning she gets dressed, eats and practices spelling words. When she was little it was 7/730 and she would be asleep right away.
We've tried to stay away from the electronics as long as possible (she just got hers this year) as it drives me crazy to see kids attached to their phones/iPads, with no ability to communicate or entertain themselves. DD can totally entertain herself, go out and play, etc without the need of phone etc...

queenbetsey · Aug 29, 2015

my kids are grown now but the rule was no electronics after 9 pm in middle and high school, sure it seems harsh but I work for the school district and seeing kids falling asleep in class because they were up all night texting etc is not a god thing also at that age their brains are really in high gear developing pretty quickly and studies show more sleep is needed. sure we had exceptions for school stuff but we did not even enter into the conversations it was what it was.
they turned out ok their grades were good and it helped that school out here starts early and they had jrotc every day after school to tire them out lol

queenbetsey · Aug 29, 2015

sorry one more comment here. as I said I work for a school, I am an aide at a high school out here. ON the subject of electronics, one of the students in a class with the young lady I assist (I am a one on one aide for a wheel chair student who is in general ed) ok so back to the story here, a girl was complaining that her homework was taking 4 hours a night. her mom was also concerned and started keeping track of the homework time. after a couple of late nights mom met her at the door when she got home after school/cheer practice one day and said "give me your phone until you finish your homework" the girl was ticked off but mom (good mom) stood her ground, and would you believe homework was done in under two hours? this girl now does this pretty much every day now and this started in 9th grade and now in 11th is a habit the kid has amazing grades too, on cheer etc

smitch425 · Aug 29, 2015

Haven't read the whole thread, but my DS is 10 (5th grade) and DD is 12 (7th grade). Their bedtime on school nights is 10:30, but DD will sometimes be in bed a little before, and DS a little later. Electronics are not a problem in our house. Dd has a TV, bluray player, iPad and iPhone in her room, and DS has a TV, bluray player, Nintendo NES, Nintendo Wii, Playstation 2, Sega Genesis and an iPad in his room. Everything is off when it's bedtime, except for DD's iPad because she uses it for her alarm clock. She has a loft bed, so it's just easier for her to use that. Lol Both kids have been getting up at 7am so far this school year. DD's bus comes at 7:40, and DS's bus comes at 8:30. Our school year started off great, but DD sprained her ankle at taekwondo and was on crutches by day 3 of school, which she missed. I drove her to and from school until this past Tuesday when she was put into a walking boot, so she's back to a normal bus routine finally. Lol

julieanddanny · Aug 29, 2015

I actually surprised at how late some of these bedtimes are! I have a 10 and 11 (almost 12) yr old and over the summer we let them stay up until 9pm -9:30. Once school starts its going to be 8pm get to bed and read. Lights out 8:30. They'll get up 6:45ish. The 5 yr old will be going to bed 7-7:30

smitch425 · Aug 29, 2015

julieanddanny said:
I actually surprised at how late some of these bedtimes are! I have a 10 and 11 (almost 12) yr old and over the summer we let them stay up until 9pm -9:30. Once school starts its going to be 8pm get to bed and read. Lights out 8:30. They'll get up 6:45ish. The 5 yr old will be going to bed 7-7:30

My kids were regularly up until 1am or later over the summer. Different strokes for different folk, I guess. Lol

aprilgail · Aug 30, 2015

julieanddanny said:
I actually surprised at how late some of these bedtimes are! I have a 10 and 11 (almost 12) yr old and over the summer we let them stay up until 9pm -9:30. Once school starts its going to be 8pm get to bed and read. Lights out 8:30. They'll get up 6:45ish. The 5 yr old will be going to bed 7-7:30

smitch425 said:
My kids were regularly up until 1am or later over the summer. Different strokes for different folk, I guess. Lol

I shocked at how early some people have their kids in bed even in the summer- kids here are outside playing still at 9:00- heck the ice cream man comes down the block between 9:30-10:00 in the summer and has a long line of people buying ice cream! Even when my daughter was little I would get home from work at 4, we would eat and then head out to the park, beach, etc for the evening, get home and into bed by 10:00 if it was a school night. In the summer all bets are off- its whenever! There were a few days I would get up at 4am and my daughter was just going to bed this year- its the summer, no rules at all!

DnA2010 · Aug 31, 2015

julieanddanny said:
I actually surprised at how late some of these bedtimes are! I have a 10 and 11 (almost 12) yr old and over the summer we let them stay up until 9pm -9:30. Once school starts its going to be 8pm get to bed and read. Lights out 8:30. They'll get up 6:45ish. The 5 yr old will be going to bed 7-7:30

We are about the same as this- I just don't see the need for DD11 to be up late- we generally have this to do the next day, that sort of thing. Not much time electronics/TV etc...

Lilacs4Me · Aug 31, 2015

Mine are close in age - 15, 11, and 9 1/2:

The 15 year old is on his own when it comes to deciding when to go to sleep but I tell him that he better not give me a hard time waking up in the morning!
The 11 year old - I would like her to be sleeping by 9 or so (they all wake up around 6:30am or so), but it's usually more like 9:30-10pm
Same for the 9 year old - he has trouble settling down for sleep sometimes, but once he does, he sleeps like a log. But it means that he doesn't fall asleep until about 10pm most nights.

All three have after school and evening activities that end anywhere between 7:30-9pm depending on the day of the week and the kid. If it were up to me, they'd be in bed by 8pm LOL

During the summer and on weekends/breaks. they are all allowed to stay up to whenever they want as long as we don't have anything going on the next day, and I usually let them sleep in in the morning.

i guess bedtimes have never really been structured in our house now that I'm thinking back on it.

KristinU · Aug 31, 2015

Sunnywho said:
it's an android phone and the app is called dinnertime
a web search should turn it up
it gets installed on the parent's phone and it controls the kid's phone

Thanks so much for this mention, DS just got a smart phone and I love this app!

smitch425 · Aug 31, 2015

Our kids are in taekwondo, and they are student instructors, so they assist with classes in addition to taking their own classes. So anywhere from 2-4 nights a week, they are busy. By the time they get home from school, do their homework, eat dinner, do taekwondo, and shower, it's easily 8:30/9pm. Do they NEED to stay up until 10:30? Probably not, but they work hard, make straight As, and have zero trouble waking up in the mornings, so we let them. We like spending time together in the evenings, especially with DH's crazy work schedule lately. Lol

3Gsandme · Aug 31, 2015

I think, at 12, we were allowing dd to stay up until 10p with the tv on and after that, the tv and phone had to be off/away. 8:30 seems awfully early for a 7th grade bed time. That's what time my kindergarten kid goes to bed. We did 10pm with the caveat that if she had problems getting up, her grades were suffering or she was cranky that we'd have to adjust the system. We didn't have to. Dd is a sophomore in high school now and she doesn't have a bed time and didn't lst ear either. She just has the same expectation that she get up on time, do well in school and not be mean due to a lack of sleep.

3Gsandme · Aug 31, 2015

smitch425 said:
My kids were regularly up until 1am or later over the summer. Different strokes for different folk, I guess. Lol

We have no bed times in the summer at our house. Isn't that the point?

I'm a SAHM, so we don't have any time to get up or any place to be. The little girls tended to fall asleep between 10 and 11 and get up, on their own, between 8 and 9. All bets were off with the teen.

aliceindisneyland · Sep 1, 2015

I'd base bedtime counting backwards from the time he has to wake up for school. If he needs 10 hours of sleep and has to be up at 6am, then bedtime (in bed, lights out) would need to be 8pm.
The easiest way to discipline [that's teach, not punish!] a kid/preteen/teen is to give them more responsibility pitching in to help the family---just as a way of life, not necessarily paid, and not as a punishment. Kids act crazy when they don't feel like they belong, and the fastest, surest way to cement the feeling that you belong to a group [family] is to contribute to the group in a meaningful way.

kreckl · Sep 1, 2015

mjkacmom said:
I'm shocked at how early teenagers have to be in bed! Sure, when they were little, they went bed at 8, 8:30. But now? Soccer practice for my 12 year olds is 7:45 - 9:15. Dance class is from 7:30 - 9:30, girls get home set 10. I'm happy when they're in bed by 11! On weekends and summer, they can go to bed when they want - heck, with all of the sleepovers, they're up all night a lot anyway.

I don't know anyone who gives HS students bedtimes.

My son is 12. We homeschool, so the type of homework many kids have to deal with ( and takes away hours of free time), isn't an issue. He has hours everyday to do as he likes, is outdoors a lot ( which I think helps with sleep), and is an early riser everyday. By early evening he's exhausted- but he's always been that way.

havaneselover · Sep 1, 2015

I don't enforce a bed time but my almost 12 year old is in bed at 9:30. She swims until 8:15 on school nights and by the time we are home and she's showered it's 9. She gets up at 6 on school days (she has a long day--leaves the house just after 7 and isn't home until almost 4) so she knows she needs to get to sleep. She also doesn't overuse electronics and doesn't have a phone yet (but does have an iPod/iPad to text on).

alopez926 · Sep 1, 2015

School bus pickup is at 6:37AM (CRAZY early) so that means 5:45 wakeup. I do impose 8:30 bedtime for my 12-year old, but it's usually 9 by the time she gets to sleep. She's tired and doesn't fight me at all. .

??s for Parents of 12 yr olds....

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